Money is one of the main sources of conflict in a marriage.
Truthfully, whether you’re married or not, money is one of the most common reasons that couples fight, and many break up because of it.
This is serious stuff.
Money complicates relationships, especially romantic. It causes 2 people to look at their hard-earned money now as “ours” and not “mine”, and also combines 2 completely different financial philosophies and histories. It is essential to understand, first, how money affects each stage of a relationship. People that are in the early stages of dating compared to engaged or married have very different concerns. Source
Here are the best tips to help you and your partner talk about money and avoid money issues:
- Talk about money.
Don’t avoid the issue of money. Instead, talk about it… together! Do this early, before you even move in together. Use this time simply to bounce ideas off one another and learn where each of you stands on various money issues. Realize that you’re both coming from different places — financially speaking. Your personal backgrounds and experiences, as well as how you’ve each dealt with money issues up til now, will ultimately impact how you work on your financial future together. - Work with each other.
Make an agreement that you will keep each other in the loop about personal debts, where money is coming from, and where the money is going — even if you each keep separate accounts. This doesn’t mean nit-picking every little expense. Quite the contrary. For partners to truly trust one another it means being completely open, non-judgmental, and respectful of each others’ differences. There’s a time and a place to get to the bottom of who’s spending what and when. - Create a budget together.
Sit down together and figure out exactly what money you have coming in, and exactly what your bills are. These are usually the same each and every month. As long as you budget for things ahead of time — and you both stick within your budget — then you’ll be way ahead of the game in terms of preventing money issues. By the way, it’s during your budget-making and budget-review times that you should both feel comfortable discussing each others’ spending habits. - Get help if you need it.
If you and your spouse are fighting about money a lot, or are on the verge of breaking up over money issues, then get some relationship and financial counseling now! It’s worth it to work through these problems right away, rather than just ignoring them or letting them fester and create walls between the two of you. You may want to start with money books for couples.
Money is front and center in our lives. So if you and your partner aren’t in financial sync, your marriage is going to be in deep trouble. Source
More Tips For Preventing Marriage Money Problems
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Suze Orman: A Couple’s Guide To Managing Money
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Dave Ramsey: The Truth About Money & Relationships
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Peaceful Money Management For Couples
