Why Parents Should Consider Moving In With Their Adult Children
As I read an article on a Seattle News website about the money squeeze that seniors face, I couldn’t help but wonder why these seniors don’t move in with their adult kids.
I realize that I recently wrote about how adult kids living with mom and dad can put a drain on the parents' retirement. But if you turned the situation around, it could actually be quite advantageous for parents to move in with their adult children.
Extended families are good for finances...
Moving in with your kids -- especially when you are still vibrant and healthy -- means you can free up your child and child-in-law to work a bit more and manage their joint expenses better.
Plus, the grandparents can help the household by providing childcare and cooking, as they are able.
With many Americans living in homes bigger than they actually need, giving up a guest room or a finished basement is not that big of a deal these days. LIkewise, grandparents who actually can help to pay the mortgage or a couple of utility bills can be beneficial. Sometimes even upgrading your home can have a financial benefit if it means that more hands and money will support the household.
Of course, those who would benefit the most from having an extended family are the children. Too many kids today do not have a good relationship with their grandparents. As a result, they become disconnected from their history and family ties.
The only downside to moving back in with adult children is that there could be personality conflicts. Such an arrangement is only possible if boundaries can be set without hurt feelings and added stress.
I completely understand Peter. I am in the same situation right now. I have attempted to have a civil coversation with my parent. They become angry and refuse for me to talk further in my own home. I try to give respect but don't seem to get any in return. They are able to listened to anyone else but their child. I feel like I have reverted back to high school except I am the one paying the rent now. Im not concerned about the money beacause I want them to get a place of their own. They took care of me for so long. I can surely do the same. But should I not be respected in the process. They demand respect but what about me? I am mostly sad that my relationship with my parent hasn't evolved into an adult child to parent relationship. I would like to know how I can make that transition with my parent? As of right now my parent has said that they will continue to do as they please until they move out. The explaination was that they are still the parent eventhough they reside in my home. I feel myself starting to pull away. I'm not volunteering things that are going on in my life anymore. Sometimes I don't want to come home. Before they moved in things were a little better. We have always been close. Problems don't occur until I try to express how I feel. Even still it has always been you are the child and I have the right to tell you to be quite when I choose no mater how old you are. I don't want to have a relationship at a distance. That would be hard when you are in the same living quarters. I don't think my parent will budge but all I can do is try. I always thought the relationship with your parents would get better with age.
Like I said personality conflict... while yours is HUGE Peter, it is still a personality conflict.
You have GOT to be kidding. "The only downside to moving back in with adult children is that there could be personality conflicts. " Obviously, you have NEVER had a parent move in with you. They become controlling, bosy, and extremely lazy. They shop till they drop while they watch their adult children struggling to make ends meet... hows that for a few downsides ?